Final Goodbye

24 hours a day seems too short a time to get everything done. With only 1 body, 1 brain, 2 hands, you can never be in more than 1 place at the same time. It's similar with relationships. Think of your friends as tabs in a web browser-- no matter how many friends you've got, you can only keep a couple of friends 'active' in your life at a certain time.

I'm glad I have my friends and my family who have been 'constants' throughout the various stages of my life. They're there because of mutual consent, because we have both made an active decision to be a part of each other's life. It's not a simple decision as a yes or a no, because the decision comes with effort, to be present no matter what the circumstances are.

That being said, I look back on the relationships I have had with other people, now deemed as "inactive"...or simply tabs that have been sent to the Recycle Bin. The sentimental, emotional me cannot help but feel sad, to think that what was once real seems like it never occurred in the first place, and that people so close to each other are now strangers, almost as if all history between them has been erased. And once this history has been erased, where do we go from there? How do we begin again? The answer most of the time is, we don't. We move on with our lives and let whatever is in the recycle bin, stay there.

In a few hours, we will be so close to each other, for one last time. After this, we will be nothing but strangers again. Our lives will continue on separately. It has stretched on long enough. Longer than it should have been. I have to do this because if I don't, I will destroy myself and self-combust. This will be my final goodbye. Soon our history will be erased, with nothing left but a fragment of a memory, that we will eventually doubt its authenticity. When that history has been erased, we won't know where to begin, so much so that even if every single day we have an opportunity to speak to each other in this world of technology, we won't-- because we won't know where to begin, because we have forgotten.